I can’t count the times I have heard that. Never, ever does it get easier. Never, ever do I feel any less worthless, undesirable, unwanted. Rejected.
My heart hurts. A LOT. I feel like throwing up. A LOT.
I want to cry. I want to yell. I want to hide until the hurt goes away.
But I can’t.
So, how do I pick up and keep going when everything in me is begging me to stop and give up?
When God closes a door, he opens another.
We have all heard this phrase before but until we live through it I don’t think we appreciate it’s power. I have been through many life experiences where I cried out “Why God, why?!” The answer never appears right away. In fact, it usually takes months, and most likely, years for me to see where the other door opened.
But with age comes experience. I am noticing the doors now. YES, they are already opening!
I don’t know why God said no to this job for me. I am disappointed and very nervous since I don’t know what comes next. But what I am certain of is that there is something bigger in store for me.
“Father, I want my life to be under Your control – not mine. Help me learn how to wisely invest my time in a way that pleases and honors You. Teach me how to set boundaries and establish priorities that will encourage my obedience to You. Empower me to live for You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
The “duties” of a man and a woman have pretty much always been different. I can’t claim to understand how a man determines what he needs to do in a day. What I do understand is that a woman feels as if she needs to do everything that everyone else does not do.
Let’s take mornings for example:
A Morning in the Life of a Guy
1) Alarm goes off
2) Check phone for emails and social updates
3) Shower with soap & shampoo
5) Brush Teeth
6) Eat breakfast while catching up on sports news
7) Go to work
A Morning in the Life of a Woman
1) Alarm goes off
2) Make bed
3) Open curtains and blinds in entire house
4) Straighten up along the way – trash, dishes, etc.
5) Feed the animals
6) Eat breakfast while scouring magazines for recipes and general life tips
7) Load everyone’s dishes into dishwasher
8) Shower with shampoo, conditioner, two kinds of soap and rake snarls out of curls
9) Slather on lotions, medications, essential oils, and hair products
10) Put on makeup to feel prettier
11) Agonize in front of closet but wear the same things over and over
12) Dry, hairspray, and push hair into some kind of manageable state
13) Pack lunch, put in a load of laundry, sweep the floors, wipe the counters
14) Go to work
This is all before 9 am.
Most days I can handle doing all the extras. Most days I even enjoy being needed.
But some days…
It is mid-summer and my toenails had still not been painted. I have been asking the guys in my house if they would paint my nails for weeks. Most times I got a smirk and a “No.” Sometimes I’d get the “Feet are gross” excuse. Sure, I can do it myself, but I am hoping you will want to do something to show me you love me.
I get it boys. It’s not a fun chore. It’s not a sexy chore. It’s not a manly chore.
But your lady works hard. She does a lot of things you don’t even realize. She does a lot of things you hate to do so you don’t have to do the things you hate to do. She does it because she loves you.
She asks you to paint her toenails half-heartedly cause she already knows your answer is going to be no. She hopes by some miracle you will look at her and see how much she could really use a little attention. She wants you to see that by holding her sore, callused feet in your big manly hands, it makes her feel safe and secure and wanted and loved. And by doing something not so “manly” you are showing her you are not ashamed to do what needs to be done to make her feel loved.
You’d be surprised how something so simple can grow a woman’s love and respect for you. You’d be surprised how much it will fill her love and happiness tanks for days to come.