It Was So Nice to Interview You, But…

Sad person

Ouch.

I can’t count the times I have heard that. Never, ever does it get easier. Never, ever do I feel any less worthless, undesirable, unwanted. Rejected.

My heart hurts. A LOT. I feel like throwing up. A LOT.

I want to cry. I want to yell.  I want to hide until the hurt goes away.

But I can’t.

So, how do I pick up and keep going when everything in me is begging me to stop and give up?

When God closes a door, he opens another.

We have all heard this phrase before but until we live through it I don’t think we appreciate it’s power. I have been through many life experiences where I cried out “Why God, why?!” The answer never appears right away. In fact, it usually takes months, and most likely, years for me to see where the other door opened.

But with age comes experience. I am noticing the doors now. YES, they are already opening!

I don’t know why God said no to this job for me. I am disappointed and very nervous since I don’t know what comes next. But what I am certain of is that there is something bigger in store for me.